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ISSUE #4 OF THE MZ NEWSLETTER IS FINALLY HERE!
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Our apologies. The longer-than-usual delay between issues was due to a busy summer schedule and chronic understaffing at ZellCo Enterprises. We think we’ve put together a crackerjack issue to compensate for your pain and suffering. We hope that once you’ve taken a gander, you’ll agree. But I’ll be honest, if even a quarter of you agree, I’ll be shocked.
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I mentioned in my second newsletter that I felt my blog would eventually win a Pulitzer Prize, and I was encouraged by how many of you supported me in that belief. It meant a lot to me. I still haven't heard back from the folks at Pulitzer as to whether a blog is eligible to win a prize. I’ve studied the list of past winners and found no evidence that it's ever happened, but that doesn't mean anything. Who would have predicted that breakdancing would become an Olympic sport? I've decided to take the initiative and begin a campaign to get things moving. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, right? Chubby Checker would never have made it into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame if he hadn't walked up and down the sidewalk during induction ceremonies wearing a sandwich board, demanding it. I would walk up and down the sidewalk in front of the Pulitzer headquarters wearing a sandwich board, but I'm pretty busy right now. Plus, there would be the cost of airfare to NYC and the Uber fare for both trips between LaGuardia and Columbia University. Sure, I could pack a lunch to save a little money, but it's still going to add up. Anyway, if anyone is willing to do this on my behalf, I would be eternally grateful. I've done some research on the process: a group of "jurors" makes the nominations, then the "board" makes the final decision. If I can track down these jurors and direct them to my blog posts, the nomination is a foregone conclusion. They'll kick things up the ladder to the board, and voilà. One by one, the board members will sign off. If anyone knows, or has contact information for, a Pulitzer juror or board member, I’d appreciate it if you could pass it along. The bad news: Pulitzer Prize winners don’t receive a trophy, just some stupid coin. Very disappointing. The good news: Winners receive 15K! KA-CHING! I could put a chunk of change like that to good use on SkyMall. Yes, you can still order from SkyMall.
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I have a handful of shows remaining before summer turns to fall: a Gear Daddies show at the Codfish Hollow Barn in Maquoketa, IA this Saturday, a free concert in Silver Bay, MN, on August 8th, the 318 Music Cafe in Excelsior on August 13th, and Parley Lake Vineyard in Waconia on August 15th. You can find details and ticket links below, or by clicking the SHOWS tab at MartinZellar.com. We always love and appreciate seeing your smiling faces. 7/26 Gear Daddies at Codfish Hollow Barn in Maquoketa, IA INFO/TICKETS 8/8 MZ & Band at Music in the Park in Silver Bay, MN FREE SHOW! INFO/TICKETS 8/13 MZ & Band at the 318 Music Cafe in Excelsior, MN INFO/TICKETS 8/15 MZ & Band at Parley Lake Winery in Waconia. MN INFO/TICKETS Details and ticket links for the shows can also be found under the SHOWS tab at MartinZellar.com. INFO/TICKETS
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VERY SPECIAL SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT!
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We are excited to announce that on Saturday, October 11, the guys and I will be returning to the Parkway Theater with very special guest, Presley Haile, opening the show. Tickets go on sale tomorrow (Friday, the 25th) at 8:00 a.m. CDT. Here's the ticket link: https://www.theparkwaytheater.com/all-events/martin-zellar-2025 Presley will be joined, as in past years, by her partner, the peerless Nick Brumley. This will be our third year playing an October show at the Parkway with Presley and Nick, and I wouldn't count on it happening again. Presley recently signed with Columbia Records, and she's well on her way to bigger and better things. I only hope she'll consider adding me to the guest list when she plays arenas in the future. Or at least sign a t-shirt for me. If you aren't familiar with Presley, she's the vocalist singing with me on the duet, Better Off Apart, and the song Boats Slowly Sinking off my last album, Head West. If you haven't already, please give them a listen. Also, give her fantastic new EP, Off to Find a Sunny Day, a listen. Note to self: feature Presley and Nick in the next newsletter's Meet a Friend segment. I don't say this often, but I'd grab your tickets soon!
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In this issue's installment of Meet a Friend, I'd like to introduce you to Dominic Ciola. If you've seen me perform over the past 47 or so years, you may have noticed Nic on stage with me. He's the Italian guy playing bass. He wears a backwards baseball cap and a permanent smile on his face. If it's still not ringing a bell, he often has a beer or Bloody Mary (or both) in his hand or sitting atop his amp. Nic and I met at the Congregational Church Nursery School when we were four years old, and we've been pretty much inseparable since. Nic's family was my family, and vice versa. Our houses were interchangeable. We played kick the can and baseball together in elementary school. We hung out at Happy Joe's Pizza and Del's Roller Rink in middle school. We TP'ed houses and got arrested for breaking into a cheerleading camp in high school. Over that time, our musical tastes evolved from John Denver to Styx to the Clash. The summer before 9th grade, I decided to start a band. I wanted Nic in the band, so I taught him how to play bass. Talk about the blind leading the blind. I was a terrible guitar player and had no business teaching anyone how to play bass, or any other instrument. Thankfully, Nic is one of those people who is good at anything they set their mind to, so he was quickly able to unlearn what I taught him. The list of things I love about Nic is long, so I'll have to pick just a couple to mention here. Nic is the most generous human being I've ever met. He keeps no accounting, he's just good for goodness's sake. Growing up, my dad underwent five open heart surgeries, and my family was often struggling financially. During those lean years, I'd come up with excuses as to why I couldn't join everyone out and about on weekends. Nic knew it was because I had no money, but he never embarrassed me by saying it. Instead, he'd suggest we stay at his house and watch HBO, or his mom would slip him some extra money to cover my movie ticket and pizza. His mom was as kind and generous as he is. I started working at his family's restaurant the summer before my freshman year and continued working there throughout high school. No one else would have hired a dipshit like me, so once I was able to pay my way, it was because of the Ciola family's kindness. Nic’s generosity to friends and strangers continues. He’d give you his last dollar. I can't think of anyone who has picked up more rounds than Nic, and it's not because he has money to burn or needs to buy friends. The thing I appreciate most about Nic is the patience and support he has always shown me regarding my lifelong struggle with bipolar disorder. He rolls with the punches, sticks with me through the rough spells, and forgives me when I'm insufferable. I sure as hell couldn't have stayed friends with me for 58 years. This could go on and on, so I'll have to continue with Nic Part II in a future newsletter.
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This issue's reader question comes from Mark Garry in Laguna Beach, CA. Mark writes: “I'm 62 years old, and I'm considering retiring early from my job as an anesthesiologist to pursue a full-time career as a singer-songwriter. My plan is to spend the first several weeks of retirement learning how to play guitar, then another week or so figuring out how to write songs. I've been told that I possess rugged Gabe Kaplan-esque good looks, so I feel I'll really shine on TikTok. My neighbor Gary's daughter, Alexis, tells me that TikToks are the key to making it big. She's very popular at her middle school, so I tend to believe her. These are my questions for you: Do you feel your dream of being a singer-songwriter was worth pursuing even though it didn't work out? Additionally, do you think your lack of success is directly related to your lack of TikTok views? Finally, do you feel that there's a correlation between your lack of TikTok views and your lack of a TikTok account?” Thanks for the question, Mark, and best of luck on your career change. Not that you'll need it. I've yet to meet anyone who resembles Gabe Kaplan who hasn't succeeded in show business. The truth is, I've had many dreams over the years. Some have come true, some haven't. When I was five years old, I had a dream that Popeye flushed our neighbor "Chet" down the toilet (To avoid litigation, I won't be using “Chet's” real name, which is Tim Higgins). "Chet" was four years older than I and the neighborhood bully. He once pushed me into Emmet Devaney's hedge. Another time, he stole a Chick-O-Stick and some Wax Lips from me. The Chik-O-Stick was for my brother, so it wasn't a big deal. The Wax Lips were a different story. I had really been looking forward to wearing them for a couple of hours before chewing on them for several unenjoyable minutes. Anyway, the dream left me conflicted. On one hand, watching Popeye flush “Chet” down the toilet was highly satisfying. On the other hand, Popeye creeped me out. And it wasn't just Popeye. Many other characters in the Popeye universe also creeped me out: Dufus, Poopdeck Pappy, Eugene the Jeep, Sea Hag and her buzzard, and worst of all, Alice the Goon. Wimpy was okay. The comic strip was awful, but don't get me going on that 1980 live-action remake starring Robin Williams. That movie gave me nightmares. They were nowhere near as bad as the nightmares that the Jim Carrey live-action remake of The Grinch gave me, but nightmares nonetheless. It's mind-boggling to think of how many people had to have been in the chain that green-lit that movie. And it was directed by Robert Altman! The same guy who directed Nashville! An aside: It’s crazy how little work was required to transform Shelly Duvall into Olive Oyl. They threw a red shirt with a white frill collar on her, pulled her hair into a bun, and the transformation was complete. Fantastic casting. The bottom line is that I would rather have had Spider-Man flush "Chet" down the toilet than Popeye. But Popeye isn't a real person, and Tim Higgins would never have fit down a toilet, so the dream never had a chance of coming true anyway. Still, it was a pretty good dream. And though it could have been better, I have no regrets about having had it. And you're probably right about the connection between my disappointing career and not having a TikTok account.
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WHAT’S NEW AT MARTINZELLAR.COM?
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A reminder that the team here at ZellCo works hard to regularly add new content to MartinZellar.com. Since we sent the last newsletter, we've added Pulitzer-worthy new blog posts about hummingbirds, guitars, Fargo-Moorhead, and career milestones. We've also uploaded a bunch of new photos to the photo album. After several readers expressed disappointment at missing out on earlier issues of the newsletter, we've added a newsletter archive to the toolbar. If you haven’t already, please check out the video I put together for A Thousand Little Things. While there, please consider hitting the follow button for my YouTube channel.
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PREVIOUS CONTEST WINNER & NEW CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT
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Congratulations to Stephen Y from St. Paul, MN, the winner of last issue's contest prize, a soiled, medium-sized, gray linen, snap-button western shirt. We hope it comes in handy as a rag, or you're one of the 3% of adult American males who wear a medium-sized shirt.
This issue's contest prize is a real doozy! The winner will join Randy and me for a late-morning coffee klatch somewhere in the Twin Cities. My personal assistant will confer with all parties involved to determine a date, time, and location that is amenable to all. I will be picking up the tab, and you can order any beverage you'd like, along with anything from the bakery case. I'll even spring for a second dessert should one item only arouse your appetite without beddin' 'er back down (name that film!). I've made it clear to Randy, however, that he will be limited to one small beverage and one day-old pastry. Sadly, he has a long history of taking advantage of my generosity. Should the winner not be located in or near the Twin Cities or be unable or unwilling to drive, fly, or travel by ocean liner or rail to the Twin Cities (a highly unlikely scenario), they will have the option of receiving a Head West merchandise package consisting of a signed album, CD, t-shirt, and refrigerator magnet. Or, if they choose, they can transfer the prize to a friend or family member in the Twin Cities area. Good luck! Remember, you're already entered into the contest if you've signed up for the mailing list. If you're curious about our privacy policy or how we select contest winners, please check out my early blog post at MartinZellar.com, which explains both.
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On the rare occasion that I’m having difficulty coming up with fresh and engaging content, I will lift an observation or story from Sammy Davis Jr. and claim it as my own. Otherwise, rest assured that everything in my newsletters and blog posts will come directly from me. Side note: A lot of fantastic photos of Sammy Davis Jr. can be found online.
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Thanks for subscribing to the newsletter! We hope to you soon!
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Photo credits: Martin and Nic at the Hewing Hotel: Melissa King Martin at the Hewing Hotel: Melissa King Martin and Nic: Davin Brandt Martin and Randy: Renee Broughten
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