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SPOILERS AHEAD: If you haven't yet viewed the Porky's films, please make your way to the nearest Blockbuster Video and rent the trilogy before reading on. And please, be kind, rewind, before returning. This issue's reader question comes from John Wareham in St. Paul, MN. John writes: "I've always enjoyed your music. Or at least some of your music. Specifically, I like your song about driving the Zamboni. I’m unfamiliar with the rest of your catalogue. On to my question: My great-aunt said she recently saw you in the audience at a matinee showing of Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, so I know you're a cinema devotee. I'm curious to know which installment of the Porky's movie franchise you think was the strongest?" You are correct, John, I am indeed a cinemaphile. And I hope your great-aunt enjoyed Transformers: Rise of the Beasts as much as I did. The consensus among critics is that the original film, Porky's, is the strongest of the series. I agree with that consensus, but rather than leave it there, I'll also offer my opinions on the under-appreciated follow-ups: Porky's II: The Next Day, and Porky's Revenge. Porky's (the original) is a brilliant piece of filmmaking. The screenplay, direction, set design, wardrobe, cinematography, and acting are second-to-none. In my opinion, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences lost all credibility when it failed to nominate the film in any category back in 1981. Most egregious was the overlooking of Tony Ganios for his groundbreaking performance as Anthony "Meat" Tuperello. No one in the history of cinema has ever stuck his member through a hole in a wall with more nuance and grace. And this is saying something. My memory isn’t what it used to be, but I believe De Niro did it several times in The Deer Hunter. Porky's is a classic. Full stop. Let's move on to the sequels. In the 1983 follow-up to Porky's, Porky's II: The Next Day, the students of Angel Beach High face opposition from a religious leader and the Ku Klux Klan while attempting to stage a production of Romeo and Juliet. This film is no light-hearted romp; rather, it is a serious piece of cinema that explores complex social issues and mentions a Shakespeare play in passing. This is the thinking man's Porky's. Unfortunately, the heavy subject matter, coupled with reduced screen time for the character of Meat Tuperello, left many fans of the original movie disappointed. Ultimately, if viewers are willing to think critically, open their hearts and minds, and overlook the inexplicable lack of any scene involving a hole in a wall, they'll see that the film has many layers and much to offer. In the third installment of the trilogy, 1985's Porky's Revenge, the gang once again faces off against their old nemesis, Porky Wallace, who wants them to throw the school's championship basketball game because he's betting on the opposing team. This installment returns to the more light-hearted approach of the original movie. However, there's still plenty to ponder on an existential level. Porky's Revenge is significantly elevated by a brilliant performance from Nancy Parsons as Coach Beulah Balbricker and a return to a more prominent role for Tony Ganios as Meat Tuperello. Porky's Revenge, much like Porky's II: The Next Day, suffers from the lack of Meat Tuperello engaging with a hole in wall. Yet, it still manages to be a terrific film. MY FINAL VERDICT: Porky's: 5+ stars Porky's II: The Next Day: 4.25 stars Porky's Revenge: 4 stars My ranking places them in order of their release, but many serious film scholars would reverse the order of the follow-ups. Placing the original anywhere but at the top of the list is rage-bait, plain and simple. *TWO IMPORTANT REVIEW NOTES* I have seen all of these movies, and therefore didn't have to search Wiki or IMDb for the actual names of the movies, characters, actors, or film synopses. Any suggestion to the contrary is patently absurd. I didn't have to look up the plural for "synopsis".
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