I really messed things up this time
Too little sleep and too much wine
I guess I’ll just be on my way
Words wouldn’t change things anyway
I made my bed, I try to sleep
Three Placidyl and count some sheep
It wears you down being a creep
Hour-by-hour, day-by-day
I stumble, crawl and make my way
Through happy hours and ladies nights
Drunken babble, pointless fights
Yellow fingers, aching head
Bloodshot eyes and spinning bed
Most of my family thinks I’m dead
It’s all so sad…
My skin’s an awful place to be
I’d change my ways if I were me
It seems my fate, the dice are cast
As long as my liver will last
On this barstool I will lurk
Overweight and out of work
No use denying I’m a jerk
Bar pour whiskey, ten cent tips
Frequent zigzag bathroom trips
Pickled eggs, stale bags of chips
It’s all so sad…
Let me up, I’ve had enough
I just can’t take this
I need to slow my heartbeat down
Unclench my fists
Little-by-little and day-by-day
You hammered me hard
And you chipped away
You wore me down
Yeah, you wore me down
You only broke my heart
Because I let you break it
You didn’t steal my joy
I let you take it
Do what you want with your own time
I’ve given you enough of mine
You wore me down
Yeah, you wore me down
I know life’s not fair
But it could be better
It’s hard work to care
It gets harder every day
You only broke my heart
Because I let you
I should have walked away
Should have chose to forget you
Little-by-little and day-by-day
You hammered me hard
And you chipped away
You wore me down
Yeah, you wore me down
I know life’s not fair
But it could be better
It’s hard work to care
It gets harder every day
How could you have been so selfish
Say the thing you say
Lead me on and break my heart
Then turn and walk away
How could I have been so foolish
So blind so naïve
I was looking in your eyes
Instead of up your sleeve
Time will tell
Was it midlife did you in
Do you think she really loves you
Stay through thick and thin
Shame on you
For treating me so bad
Turned your back on all those years
And everything we had
I’m still trying to get my bearings
Living here alone
I have friends, but they have families
Problems of their own
I never dreamed I’d feel so helpless
Don’t think it’s sunk in
What’s the first step one should take
To start their life again
Maybe time
Will heal my aching heart
Maybe someday I’ll be grateful
For this brand-new start
Right now that seems
Oh-so-far away
Takes most everything thing I’ve got
To make it through the day
I still can’t believe this happened
Seems like some bad dream
I got the house, a little money
Lost my self esteem
Sometimes I hope you’ll beg forgiveness
Maybe move back in
Most the time I hope I’ll never
See your face again
Time will tell
Was it midlife did you in
Do you think she really loves you
Stay through thick and thin
Shame on you
For treating me so bad
Turned your back on all those years
And everything we had
Turned your back on all those years
And everything we had
I stood up from that barstool
Just a half a drink away from being sick
I reached into my pocket
Pulled my ten year coin out
And left it for a tip
I tried to clear my head and figure out
Just where the hell it all went wrong
I can’t say I’m surprised it’s come to this
I’m just surprised it took this long
For all these years I’ve lived in fear
That what I was might be what I really am
Ain’t no one bought this good guy bit
I’m a piece of shit
The whole thing’s been a sham
When I was younger I used to wonder
What could cause a man to just lie down and die
I wish that I was younger still
And I wish that I still had to wonder why
I’ve got a wife and kid at home
They ain’t never seen this ugly side of me
I gave my life to Jesus six years back
But you know they’ve only known me three
When I was younger I used to wonder
What could ever bring a man to want to kill
It scares the shit right out of me to admit
That I don’t have to wonder still
I thought this would be devastating
But you know, I feel relieved
The hardest part was breaking all the hearts
Of all those people who believed
Please, dear God, I’m on my knees
Just tell me where the hell it all went wrong
I can’t say I’m surprised it’s come to this
I’m just surprised it took this long
Open your eyes and look around
Then slowly get up off the ground
First figure where you are
Find your keys, your coat, your car
I don’t want to wear your crown
I’ll only let you down
Now both my feet on solid ground
I take a clearer look around
Things weren’t always good
I’d make amends if I thought I could
I was young, very young
I let my life slip so far down
Sometimes I think that I’ve
Already sealed my fate
Need a sign to hit me like a semi
Tell me that it’s not too late
I don’t want to wear your crown
I’ll only let you down
Maybe it wasn’t meant to be
I’ve got a past keeps haunting me
No matter how hard I try
It’s there, it stares me in the eye
I don’t want to wear your crown
I’ll only let you down
Please don’t make me wear your crown
Don’t you know I was born to let you down
I don’t want to wear your crown
I’ll only let you down
I’m a little bit confused
As to what it is you want from me
Just give me direction
I could be the man you want me to be
Lies pile up on lies
Until it’s hard to find the truth
Am I warm?
Or am I getting colder?
I need clues
It gets hard as I get older
It feels a little awkward
To find out I’ve fallen short for years
I think you’d better assume control
Take the wheel, I’ll let you steer
I’ve lost all confidence in my ability
To give you what you need
Am I close?
Or am I off the mark?
I need clues
I’m completely in the dark
I wouldn’t be offended
If you made a list from one to ten
Of all the things I need to change
I’d scratch them off and start again
I’ve lost all confidence in my ability
To give you what you need
Am I warm?
Or am I getting colder?
I need clues
It gets hard as I get older
Am I close?
Or am I off the mark?
I need clues
I’m completely in the dark
They grew up on the side of town
Where the Christmas lights hung all year ‘round
And the sidewalks went unshoveled
And the dogs barked all night long
They were skinny and they were mean
Had parents that were never seen
Their hair was always longer
And their shirts were always tight
We knew we’d never get to know them
We knew we’d never try
Those East Side Boys seemed further from us
Than any star that hung up in the sky
Those East Side Boys never seemed to eat
They just smoked cigarettes across the street
They stared down at the sidewalk
Came to classes late
On conference days it was always the same
Those East Side parents never came
They never read their stories
Saw their artwork on the wall
Once they hit the High School
Around grade nine or ten
One-by-one they’d disappear
We’d never see those East Side Boys again
They grew up on the side of town
Where the Christmas lights hung all year ‘round
And the sidewalks went unshoveled
And the dogs barked all night long
Friday nights it was always the same
They didn’t go to prom or football games
They wandered through the hallways
Like inmates killing time
We knew we’d never get to know them
We knew we’d never try
Those East Side Boys seemed further from us
Than any star that hung up in the sky
East Side Boys…
They say roosters crow to greet the dawn
What a load of shit
Because roosters crow the whole night long
And that’s the truth of it
And all the drinking’s tore you up
And the drugs have worn you down
And the past it just keeps catching up
So you just keep moving ’round
And things that ought to scare you don’t
And things that shouldn’t do
There’s a killer sittin’ at your side
And no one seems to see him there but you
And you run because you’ve always run
When things start falling down
Because it’s easier to run than stand
And try to hold your ground
And you hide because you’ve always hid
And crawled into a ball
You were a scared and sad and lonely kid
And you’re older now, that’s all
And bit-by-bit the stories change
As dreams turn into lies
The truth is right in front of you
But you can’t seem to look it in the eyes
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words, they hurt me more
I’m as fragile as I’ve ever been
And I know what’s in store…
It blows in
Without a sound
Like paper in a puddle
You break down
Then it’s gone
And emptiness sets in
You’d give anything
If you could cry again
Yeah, I know
The doctors say
That they have these pills
To take your blues away
Still it’s hard
I can’t pretend
That it wouldn’t be like
Killing off a friend
It seems strange
But can’t you see
It’s there, it’s always
Been a part of me
And I’m scared
To let go
Of a big part of
The only me I know
Build it up
Tear it down
In this kingdom of dark dreams
I wear the crown
Every life
Every face that I see
Has a sad story
That overpowers me
In our hearts
We must trust
Or our dreams will turn to stone
Start to rust
Please hold on
Don’t let go
I’ll do my best
To never let it show
It blows in
Without a sound
Like paper in a puddle
You break down
I just called to let you know
That I’m coming home tonight
I couldn’t wait, let’s make a date
I’ll book a red-eye flight
When tomorrow comes
I’ll be laying close to you
Day and night, I’ll hold you tight
We’ve got catching up to do
I miss your hands, I miss your laugh
I miss your feet
I miss the way you lose your keys
And those little songs you sing
I miss your everything
The time we spend apart
Just makes me love you more
When I do without, I dream about
What you might have in store
You know that thing they say
It’s cliché but it’s true
Because everyday that I’m away
I fall more in love with you
I miss your smile, I miss your eyes
I miss your knees
I miss the way you hold my hand
And you fiddle with my ring
I miss your everything
I miss your eyes, I miss your laugh
I miss your feet
I miss the way you lose your keys
And those little songs you sing
And all the joy you bring
I miss your everything
I miss your every little everything…
Strangers in this house
Ghosts beneath my bed
Fear has struck us mute
Ain’t nothing being said
Bad news at the door
Hushed voices in the hall
Hear the T.V. late at night
Count the headlights on my wall
Things fall apart so easily
Don’t blame yourself, it must be me
Blown kisses from your window make me cry
It’s not hard to figure why
When you total up the cost
Of all we gave away
And everything we lost
Don’t want to hear the truth
Don’t want to know what’s real
I just crawl into my space
Erase everything I feel
Things fall apart so easily
Don’t blame yourself, it must be me
Blown kisses from your window make me cry
It’s not hard to figure why
You almost had me fooled
You made just one mistake
You held me far too close
I could feel your poor heart break
Things fall apart so easily
Don’t blame yourself, it must be me
Blown kisses from your window make me cry
It’s not hard to figure why
Sit down here and talk to me
Please don’t walk away
I want so bad to help you son
But I don’t know what to say
I’d do anything for you
I’d borrow, beg, I’d pray
Please don’t tear my world apart
Don’t break my heart this way
God knows I never hit you
And I sang to you at night
We went to church on Sundays
Tried to teach you wrong from right
On June fourteenth when you left home
I cried for most the day
Son, you know you’re killing me
Hour-by-hour, day-by-day
You’re still my pride and joy
You’re my precious brown-eyed boy
And that will never change
This is all so hard for me
So hard to understand
I’ve known my share of heartbreak
Don’t count myself an angry man
I’d do anything for you
I’d borrow, beg, I’d pray
Son, you know you’re killing me
Hour-by-hour, day-by-day
You’re still my pride and joy
You’re my precious brown-eyed boy
And that will never change
God knows, that will never change
Live and let live
Let sleeping dogs lie
Laugh when you can
Let it out when you cry
Don’t buy into heaven or hell
Be good try to live your life well
Some things just happen
Some choices you make
Some paths you choose
Others you’re forced to take
Life comes at you day-after-day
Use your head let your heart lead the way
With what you are given
Do all you can do
Hold all the pain you can stand
Live every moment ’til your life is through
Give and take all the love that you can
Things come together
And things fall apart
Life’s so much more
Than the beat of your heart
There’s so much out there to do
And all of it’s waiting on you
With what you are given
Do all you can do
Live every moment ’til your life is through
You’ve got to hold all the pain you can stand
Give and take all the love that you can
You’ve got to hold all the pain you can stand
Give and take all the love that you can
Everything is shimmering
The sun seems to shine
In the dead of the night
You roll out of bed
She’s in your head
Wondering when
You might see her again
There’s nothing you can do
Surrender, give up
Let it take hold of you
Boy, you’ve fallen hard
It’s as clear as the heart on your sleeve
You’re in love
You’re in love
You’re always late
Can’t concentrate
When you’re not around her
Your mind seems to wander
But when she’s there
You’re so aware
Of the earth and the sky
You can’t fight it, don’t try
There’s nothing you can do
Surrender, give up
Let it take hold of you
Boy, you’ve fallen hard
It’s as clear as the heart on your sleeve
You’re in love
You’re in love
Traffic lights
Mosquito bites
Can’t bring you down
‘Cause you have her around
When she’s there
You’re so aware
Of the world, all it’s wonder
Let love pull you under
There’s nothing you can do
Surrender, give up
Let it take hold of you
Boy, you’ve fallen hard
It’s as clear as the sun in the sky
I can tell by that look in your eye
You can’t fight it boy don’t even try
You’re in love
You’re in love
You are my all, my everything
God only knows the joy you bring me
I could watch you sleep all night
And how I love your tiny little fingers
And how I love your little toes
The way you smell, your precious nose
I really do love everything about you
I hope that someday I can be
The dad that my dad was for me
Love you always, good or bad
Hold you tight when you feel sad
Say I love you every night
Say I’m sorry when we fight
I really do love everything about you
I hope that someday when you’re older
You’ll find true love and always hold her
Tight at night, and tell her things
Feel the joy that true love brings
Make a difference, do what’s right
Follow your dreams and always fight
For those whose lives have not known grace
You are my all, my everything
Each day expands the joy you bring me
Everything about you is sweet
A perfect package, so complete
I know as the years go by
You’ll always be my special guy
I really do love everything about you
I really do hope that all your dreams come true
Give me a bottle, a cigarette
A mountain of money, erase my debt
A brand new suit, a loaded gun
A tank of gas in a car that’ll run
A thermos of coffee, Tylenol 3
A sleeping bag and a fake I.D.
A Zippo lighter, a good cigar
A six-disc changer in the trunk of the car
With Blood On The Tracks, Let It Be
Nebraska, Raindogs, Oh, Mercy
Anything by old George Jones
Sunglasses and a cellular phone
A fake beard, hair dye, a racing form
A map to anywhere that’s warm
A radar detector, Vitamin B
The Fredrik Exley trilogy
Passport, pretzels, acoustic guitar
Toll change, toothbrush, a credit card
Three hours of sleep, truck stop speed
That’s all I need
All I need…
She’s a housewife
Her husband’s worked the night shift
At the plant for forty years
They have a nice little trailer
In a nice little court
And a poodle they love
Like the child they never had
They go to the VFW Club
On Friday nights
She has a sloe gin fizz
And some fries from the kitchen
Tips the waitress fifty cents
Has her hair done the same way
That she has for thirty years
Some say her life’s useless
It’s boring, it’s dull
But she’s happy, she’s satisfied
Nearly every day she cries
When she remembers the day that Elvis died
She doesn’t covet what she doesn’t have
She’s happy…
She has a hobby
She paints ceramics and bowls twice a month
She goes dancing with her husband when they can
Or to the wrestling matches
At the local arena
Some say her life’s useless
It’s boring, it’s dull
But she’s happy, she’s satisfied
Nearly every day she cries
When she remembers the day that Elvis died
She doesn’t covet what she doesn’t have
She’s happy…
Some say her life’s useless
It’s boring, it’s dull
But she’s happy, she’s satisfied
Nearly every day she cries
When she remembers the day that Elvis died
She doesn’t covet what she doesn’t have
She’s happy…
Fireflies
Tornado skies
Green and still
Sirens shrill
Down in the basement
Listening to AM radio
Kick the can
Ice cream man
Mosquito fog
Barking dog
Somebody’s calling
Olly olly oxen free
Sheets hanging out
Mothers shout
Mowers drone
I’m all alone
I sit in the way back
Dad’s got the Twins on 830
I’m all alone…
I was born here near Macon
In 1843
Pa moved us to Peron
My mama, my brother and me
We built up a small farm
Worked it hard everyday
Then ma took with a fever
We watched as she wasted away
The Lord finally took her
It was early that fall
Then the army come-a-knockin’
Pa and Jonah
They answered the call
We’ll be strong
Carry on…
They marched out of Darden
Under Robert E. Lee
Pa fell at Antietam
Jonah somewhere in west Tennessee
The poor boys done the fighting
But it wasn’t their war
They risked all to gain nothing
I guess honor was what they died for
I’ll be strong
Carry on…
They blew through the county
Like a storm born of Hell
They burned all the cotton
They poisoned our well
Now I’m back here near Macon
With my pa’s family
I help out with the cattle
Lord I’m so lost, so lonely
I’ll be Strong
Carry on…
I’m a long way from okay
Still I’m better than before
Cleared the lightning from my head
And I crawled up off the floor
I got rid of all the guns
And I flushed down all the pills
I finally made my way to bed
I’ve got the shakes, I’ve got the chills
I ain’t thinking clear
No, I ain’t thinking clear
I’m running on pure fear
I just can’t get no traction
And I’m avoiding all the mirrors
All I’m hearing now is static
How the hell did I get here?
I ain’t thinking clear
No, I ain’t thinking clear
I’m running on pure fear
I didn’t mean to hurt nobody
Still I did it just the same
No one hates me more than I do
Broke down by guilt and shame
I ain’t thinking clear
No, I ain’t thinking clear
No, I ain’t thinking clear
I’m running on pure fear
Girl you’re so pretty
Like a princess in book
But my pants are dirty
Don’t deserve a second look
Just keep on walking
While I drink away my rent
I won’t bother trying
My luck has long been spent
If only you knew me
When life still tasted sweet
Things would be different
I’d sweep you off your feet
Now I feel like poison
And I’m treated just that way
I sit in the shadows
As you pass by every day
Hey, you haunt my dreams at night
Yeah, like a ghost your skin so white
And your lips so red
I once was a baby
And a happy little boy
I was an athlete
My Daddy’s pride and joy
Then I was a soldier
Seems like four lifetimes ago
Now I am nothing
What happened I don’t know
You know you could save me
If you’d only look my way
Maybe you’d linger
And I’d find the words to say
Hey, you haunt my dreams at night
Yeah, like a Mei Kong firefight
Hey, you haunt my dreams at night
Yeah, like a ghost your skin so white
And your lips so red
I’m miles from nowhere
I feel my hands begin to shake
I know this feeling
It’s my resolve about to break
I’m falling, falling, falling
Try my best to keep from calling
I know it’s late, I’m drunk, and you’re asleep
But I’m alone again
I know I walked out
I had my chance and now we’re through
I didn’t realize
How small my life was without you
I’m crying, crying, crying
Really does feel like I’m dying
I know it’s late, I’m drunk and you’re asleep
But I’m alone again
Hey, tell me what I’m supposed to say?
It feels as though I’m doomed to count to ten
Time and time and time and time again
I swore I’d hold off
Until I wasn’t such a mess
But I was worn down
By too much loneliness, I guess
I know, I know, I know
It’s really time that I let go
I know it’s late, I’m drunk and you’re asleep
But I’m alone again
Hey, tell me what I’m supposed to say?
It feels as though I’m doomed to count to ten
Time and time and time and time again
Hey, tell me what I’m supposed to say?
It feels as though I’m doomed to count to ten
Time and time and time and time again
Four and four and two is ten
That’s how many months it’s been
Let’s never grow bitter
Let’s never grow old
Let’s never stay inside
‘Cause the outside is cold
Let’s never be angry
Let’s never fight
We’ll lie on our backs
Count the stars every night
We’ll always be friends
Always be friends
Always, forever
We’ll hang out together
We’ll always be friends
Always be friends
Always, forever
Through all kinds of weather
With you
I’ll be there for you
You’ll be there for me
I’ll bring you a bandage
Should you skin your knee
I’ll pick you first
And you’ll do the same
If ever you need me
Just call out my name
We’ll always be friends
Always be friends
Always, forever
Through all kinds of weather
With you
I’ll always love you
I’ll always be true
I’ll always smile
When I think about you
You’re my very best friend
More precious than gold
A shoulder to cry on
A hand I can hold
We’ll always be friends
Always be friends
Always, forever
We’ll hang out together
We’ll always be friends
Always be friends
Always, forever
Through all kinds of weather
With you